A Letter To My Future Killer


If you are reading this, you killed me. A bullet to the head and now I’m gone. You decided you had the power and entitlement to end my life. Why? Because you can. The US gun laws give you the “right” to do so. You probably bought a rifle some weeks ago and planned it all out. This time, that place, these people. All the scheming, the lying, the hatred. I can imagine you as a kid, full of dreams and probably playing some innocent game where you were the hero fighting the bad ones. BOOM.

In that moment you never thought, in a million years, that you would grow up and kill another human. But you did. You killed me. You did it ruthlessly. You didn’t even know my name. You didn’t know how hard I worked to get into college. You didn’t know the strength it took for me to come out. You didn’t know how I planned to devote my life to others because I do believe in love and kindness. But then again you didn’t care. You are obviously not concerned about anyone else but yourself. That is why you kill. You killed me because the hatred within you does not let you see the love around you. You killed me because your prejudice was stronger that my story and your weapon was easier to get than a good education or a proper healthcare.

I can tell you something… when you killed me, you made me a statistic. Not really what I wanted to be in life but who’s complaining? I guess as a kid you didn’t want to be a murderer either. But then again, that is who you are. You made me a number, a news report special, a Facebook post, an article and an investigation. So thanks again, famous and dead right? You made my death a symbol of everything that is wrong with you. Homophobia and racism will forever be the reasons of my death.

I am writing to you, my future killer, because I cannot understand you. I cannot understand how you think that you had the right to end my life and to destroy the lives of the people that love me. However, I do understand this: love will always win over hate. I died but my love is still there. I died but my love will still hunt you down until the day your soul is set free from hate. Love exists, it has the power to move mountains and change lives. Love is so strong that even though you killed me, I still love.

I was scared of you before but now I am not because I finally understand why you killed me. You fear love. You fear expression. You fear everything I stand for because you can’t have it. Every time you kill me in your thoughts I will give you more love. I will show you the road to acceptance, respect and allyship, and you will be set free.

Processed with VSCO with c1 preset
In honor of the 49 lives lost in Orlando and the thousands before that. ❤ Love wins.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s